


Monika vs Kyu Sugardust - Rap Battle

by Anonymous



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Epic Rap Battles of History (Web Series), Huniepop & Huniecam (Video Games)
Genre: Puns & Word Play, Rap Battles, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Key characters from two well-memed dating simulators face off in a rap battle.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	Monika vs Kyu Sugardust - Rap Battle

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a rapper; this is just for fun. Hope you enjoy!

Monika:

The Club President’s signing in and, frankly, I’m agush

To pop the bubble of the mascot of hentai Candy Crush

A game renowned for the ease of match-3 fantasies 

Til the sequel came along and it became Just Yuri

A dating sim with no dates; it’s all asses and tits

Got your fans screaming “Wait… PMs died for this?”

I thought I could kill guilt-free while in a fictional game

But I can’t let you get off scot-free for killing good taste!

Kyu: 

This wanna-be malware’s all bark and no byte

It’s an easy match: Love fairy vs Ren’Py sprite

You’re like Katawa Shoujo, but with no diss ability

What a shock! DDLC’s full of bland MCs!

The way you treat your side-pieces is just fucking sick

Dan should add a toggle to decide whether or not you  _ are _ a dick

Your game’s just a April Fool’s joke that arrived 5 months late

Must have matched some Black Hearts - ‘cause you failed that date

Monika:

The HuniePot’s calling the kettle black there, geez

How many Joy Tokens did you need to move your sequel’s release?

Dan’s writing’s subversive; yours is outdated and broken

Lining up stereotypes and calling it “matching tokens”

So you’ve got big cast, but no one leaves an impression

Though I wouldn’t need to hack them to give them depression

Yet you let them stay sad and helpless if they’ll sleep with your narrator 

I guess that’s why they call them a  _ player  _ character

Kyu:

You think your player’s better? Let’s look at your demographics:

Half played expecting tits... The other half expecting clicks!

You started off subversive, but now you’re selling weebs toys

So thanks! Your virgin fans are what keeps me employed!

While you pathetically chase ‘em, desperately praying they’ll want you

When people want to get in Kyu, I tell ‘em to get in queue! 

But I’ll make an exception for you if you agree to be my bitch

I'll show your ass the kind of treatment that can’t be streamed on Twitch

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback in comments is welcome.
> 
> I'm aware the battle contains a lot more jokes/references on the HuniePop side of things; I was trying to be unique given how many DDLC battles exist on the internet already.


End file.
